l'm out of ammo!
Who cares? They left an hour ago!
Open your eyes! The place is empty!
They've gone.
Can l ask you something?
Does it always happen like that or was that one for me?
No, usually l get to ask one question.
Let's get some air. lt'll do us good.
You saved my life.
You get a reprieve. Forget the month's training.
l'll bring it down to one week.
Very big of you...
l have to catch them.
Because of the blonde?
Partly, but mainly for myself, see?
l'm sick of ending up in trash cans. l'll pull this off!
lt's a matter of honour. lt's dumb but l have to!
- Can l have the evening off? - Of course...
Have you finished with him?
The doctor's doing me a prescription.
He stops at 5 and it's five to now. My heart pills you know.
Don't worry, l'll have saved the whole family today!
You're so kind...
l know...
There they are, Johnny!
No sweat,
there's a bug in this round.
They won't get away.
You're so smart...
lt's my job, baby.
Bull's-eye! You're great.
Now, we follow...
Brilliant!
We've just had a call, gentlemen.
They're fixing appointments now!
They'll be doing the Marseilles Bank next.
l'll be as precise as they are.
l won't tolerate any incidents or misunderstandings.
Perfect co-ordination.
Two watchwords for the mission:
Serenity...
and efficacy.
l've decided to called this operation.
''Operation...''
''Zen''
Chief!
Forget the snakes, l've had a brainwave!
We'll have them by tonight or l'm not Emilien Coutan-Kermadec.
l hope this works.
lt's your last round.
You've got the round. Over to you.
Make sure you don't miss.
Get down!
Get down! Hands on your heads!
lt works.
That's good...Very good.
Follow at a distance.
So you're not so scared.
They've stopped. Rue Gauguin. We've got them!
Gibert here...
Block all roads within six miles of Rue Gauguin.
They haven't moved. We're almost there...
What's wrong?
l don't know. lt's vanished.
l can see it's vanished. l want to know why!
lt must be around here. You can't missed a red Mercedes.
We're warm, l know we are...
They should be here.
Don't shoot, l'm the hostage!
Hold on, l don't get this...
A vanished red Mercedes. Even Copperfield can't do that.
l.D. please.
A problem, officer?
- Are you German? - Yes.
ls this the border already?
Four Germans in a Mercedes, not a red one...
l'll take it!
German, are we?
Yes. ls that a problem?
Not at all, you interest me! Open the trunk.
Why are they here?
They've come to spend marks but can go elsewhere.
Certainly not! Keep it in the country!
Auf wiedersehen and enjoy your trip.
l don't get it, l must have missed something.
He forgot the kettle. lt happens a lot.
You think so? That's not like him...
lt's eight o'clock.
The answering machine's on, the alarm's set for six.
We've got ten hours. Will that do?
A bit short for what l have in mind but we'll hurry.
Expecting someone?
My lover but l cancelled it for you.
Who the hell is it?
Let them ring. They'll soon go...
Where were we?
l was kissing you.
No, you were kissing me.
- lt might be important... - What?
l don't know...The cops or...
You're major crook and they're here to arrest you!
You could take me hostage. Why not just take me?
Open up! Police!
You haven't killed anyone?
Thank God, you're here!
Brilliant!
- l'm up shit creek... - l can imagine.
No, you've no idea.
The apartment's gone, that lovely apartment dad left us!
Up in smoke, like dad.
My husband smoked and died of liver cancer although he never drank.
The apartment doesn't matter. l fouled up again.
l've got till the end of the week or l'm back on traffic duty!
Stick, whistle, the works!
Monday, l'm a dead man.
- Who's this dwarf? - A pal.
You go for muppets?
- lt's complicated, he's a cop... - What?
- A pal who's a cop? - Well, no, l work for him...
- You work for the cops? - No!
l work for him. He's not a real cop.
Look at him, he looks more like a secret agent or something.
And she's Mata Hari?
Can someone explain to her? l can't!
My name's Camille, hello.
The muppet there is my son, Emilien.
lf you show me the kitchen, l'll make great coffee and explain.
There's nothing to explain. l'm finished!
l started out OK...
But with the trash cans... the butcher's shops...
You shelter the homeless? Want me to call the real cops?
Don't make things any worse.
l'm not...
l'd just like to finish what we started.
lt's a tight schedule, let's not waste time.
l got caught speeding and l mean speeding.
He could revoke my licence for 100 years.
l'm helping him out to get it back. 100 years on the dole...
Cop, blackmailer, muppet... Some mothers do have them!
Here, it was a stupid idea.
You're free.
Seriously.
Here, you're free.
l didn't come here because of our deal.
l've got no other friends.
Mom said...
''Daniel's kind-hearted, he'll help us out.''
l think we were wrong but that's OK.
lt's our problem anyway.
Don't worry, l'll arrest the gang alone.
On foot, it won't be easy.
But l'll manage.
We can get rid of him by helping him out.
He needs a lot more than help!
He's a psychopath!
He reminds me of ''The Silence of the Lambs!''
Take Mata Hari, l'll take the muppet and l'll be back in two hours.
You want me to play bingo with the old bag?
please!
Two hours or l'll wet fire to her!
lt's a deal!
Come on.
- Where to? - To see to you...
l'm sorry we spoiled your evening.
ls your coffee really good?
The best in town!
To ease the atmosphere...
and apologize.
You don't want to talk to me but listen anyway.
- OK? - Will one minute do?
l've been thinking all night and there's one thing l don't get.
Why do they taunt us like this?
Why red when grey is more discreet?
To draw our attention.
We look this way while they go that way.
A ''diversion''.
They left the bank empty-handed and got the money out another way.
Or it's still in the bank.
One minute. Time's up.
l know
l'll be back later.
Ten grand.
That'll keep you going for a while.
My wife?
You really want her?
l'm kind of used to her...
Calm down, sweetheart...
Everything will be OK now.
One more...
and we retire.
For our final job,
we'll go out with a bang!
Will it help if l tell you how they changed cars?
Maybe...So tell me.
They didn't, they changed the colour.
A red Mercedes drives into a car-park or whatever...
and a discreet, grey Mercedes comes back out and vanishes.
- Can that be done? - Easy as pie.
lf they resprayed it, there'd be paint somewhere.
Not if they resprayed it inside a truck.
They'd need tons of paint each time!
They'd work in record time, less than ten minutes.
Can paint dry in that time?
Gege? Sorry l woke you, it's Daniel.
l need some of your MD10 magic paint.
Colour...scarlet.
You're out of stock?
Who bought that much scarlet in one go?
The Etangs track?
Are they repainting the whole track red or what?
OK, l'll work something out with them.
l'll call you. See you.
What's MD10 paints?
Dry in ten minutes.
What do you think?
ls that them?
No, they're the Marseilles Butcher's League!
What's the next move?
- What's going on? - We'll say hello.
- They'll spot us! - They won't forget us.
They'll recognize me! They saw me in their trunk!
- Put this on! - You jerk!
How is this?
Perfect.
You fairies think you're Schumacher?
Doing a little lap or two?
Who made those karts?
Mercedes?
They do cars now?
Want to play hare, Hermann?
l'll show you how.
Give me 500.
l'd better get out.
l'll show you, l bet they'll go for it.
Here's how we play hare.
500 francs for the guy who beats me over two laps.
You can count? We don't need money.
l don't want to take more than 500.
A tourist who doesn't get scammed isn't a tourist.
Listen...
Use the rear-view on the second lap to see if l'm there.
No sense in doing a lap for nothing.
Thanks, girls.
Piss off!
Fast!
This is fun but l have to get to a garage.
The car's real slow today...
Any time you want a replay...
Here, 500!
- What do we do now? - Go for a drink.
Frogs!
Are you nuts? We had them and you show off.
We could have called the guys and booked them.
What for?
Speeding on a track?
We can always find evidence after.
Hold on, didn't you tell me we had to catch them red-handed?
Maybe, but we're getting nowhere.
lf this goes on, we'll end up inside.
You'll get what you want.
They're white hot now.
Drivers are real gamblers.
We can set the trap now.
- What sort of trap? - A booby trap!
How does your booboo trap work?
A booby trap, not a booboo trap!
So how does it work?
We wrap them round our finger and get them where we want them.
ln other words, here...
l'll need 20 traffic light keys and 20 radios.
OK for the radios. But the guys keep the keys on them.
Except when they shower.
Brilliant!
Over to you, Jimmy.
l'm freezing.
Wait.
Heard this one...
You're in the raw?
l'm not in the raw, l've got a towel on.
And what if l was? l can strip down in my office.
This is my office?
Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?
Your mom only taught you to be dumb?
What a welcome! l had a great joke for you.
Your jokes are never funny! Get out!
l enjoyed that.
Come in!
Am l in the way?
Never!
l can tell l am. l'll call by later.
See? She comes in for once, with something to tell me...
and l'm in the raw in here. Can you believe it?
What can l say?
ln any case, she's too good for me. She's already Chief lnspector...
What could she see in me?
Have you finished your moaning?
You're digging your grave with your teeth!
That chick's no charity worker. She isn't diesel-powered.
She needs a man!
Stand up, you look more like a monkey than a man!
Stand up straight!
Now, go and see her, fling her back and snog her!
lt'll be a slap...
or ten years together after that! lt's fifty-fifty.
lf not, you know right away. Like those lottery scratch cards.
Are you OK?
You're right, l need to know.
One scratch and l'm home free!
Fifty-fifty...
He'll wait for the draw now.
How is it going?
Finished.
Will they be mad?
lf a chick turns up 17 hours late, what do you do?
- l kill her. - That answers your question.
We brought flowers though.
- Pretty flowers! - Can you smoke them?
You made those cakes?
Since neither of us make love anymore, we made cakes.
What a riot!
l've had a great day with you.
You'll call me?
l promise.
Are these for me? Thanks, see you.
Fancy an evening together?
Look after your guests. Next time. A few years won't change much.
l put Camille in your bed, she has a bad back.
Good night, boys!
This stuff's good...
You bet, it's Jamaican.
One of the perks...
You're tempting me!
Why not drive a racing car instead of a cab?
My dad's in a wheelchair since a crash.
Try telling him you want to race.
Yeah, not easy...
And you?
What went wrong?
My story's a good one too.
l was 17 when dad died. Mom and l were penniless.
l had to find a job.
The force takes anyone who can count to ten.
Where did you live?
Asnieres.
Jules Ferry?
Yes, why?
You too?
Honestly...
Crazy! We could've been in the same class!
l'd have taught you to steal and you'd have turned out OK.
That's life. Kids have all kinds of dreams...
that never work out.
You want to be centre forward and end up in goal.
Think the plan will work?
Like clockwork.
Are you sure?
Come in!
Am l disturbing you?
lt's OK. What's up?
Full alert!
We've launched the Cougar Plan.
The SDLM Bank this time.
Here are your positions.
Arthur, street-corner north degree 1...
Jacky, street-corner north degree 2...
North degree 2 Manu: radio and key...
North degree 3 Vincent: radio and key...
- l know...Back in an hour. - Right.
l'll be at your place.
Cougar here...The bird is in the cage.
On your knees!
Cougar here. The bird's coming out. Prepare to pounce.
They've got hostages!
Don't do anything yet!
Sorry, no room for you.
l can wait.
You can run alongside. lt will do you good.
l haven't warmed up...
Calling all cougars! Pounce! Catch the bird!
See, don't follow the Mercedes...
Follow the truck instead.
Let's drink to a job well done!
Now, home everyone.
Here we go...
Everything ready?
20 points covered.
lf they cross one line, they're finished.
Boulevard Michelet to Place Mazard...
Who's on that corner?
Jean-Bat, north degree 7.
Call him, he'll open the dance.
North degree 7 Jean-Bat, do you receive me?
Go ahead.
You're the first.
l'm in position.
Our turn now.
You can't get through!
l can...
Hi, Gretchen...
Still got that tractor?
Sorry l was so slow last time, l left the handbrake on.
l'm talking to you! Want to try again or stay pathetic?
OK...
You French are always bragging...
- Come onto the freeway... - You're mad now...
- l'll wipe your Peugeot out. - l'm sorry.
l'll give you a chance but l won't wager a lot.
l hate making such easy money.
Here, ten francs.
You'll pay for that!
Who will pay who?
You're going too far...
No way. Tell 7, 8 and 9 to switch to red.
Switch to red.
North degree 10, in position.
North degree 11, in position.
OK, 12 and 13, get ready...
North degree 13 in position but l have a problem...
Two cops at the light.
Oh, fuck!
Get rid of them!
Easier said than done!
We're at 11. Do something!
Put them on!
Excuse me, a call for you...
Crime Squad here.
There's a bomb just next to you.
- Where? - ln the light!
Don't panic. We can stop it.
Listen carefully. Use the key to switch the light to red.
lt's already red!
l don't give a damn! Put the key in the box...
and turn to the right! Got that?
We just passed 12.
Get a move on...
May l?
19 and 20, get ready. You know 20 is the last?
l know.
- What's this? - A short-cut!
We'll wipe him out on the freeway, we've got more power.
Maybe that barrier meant something.
The road is not finished.
As Long as you know...
l may look calm but l'm a nervous wreck...
Almost over...
Exactly, l want to live.
Ten seconds.
Crush that rat!
Stop! No more bridge!
Five seconds.
Go on, crush him!
Let them win! You bet 10 francs!
- We can't die 10 francs! - Now or never...Hold on!
Well done, Karl. We've won.
Are you sure?
You gave me a real fright...
l thought you wanted to die.
Read ''The Tortoise and the Hare''. The tortoise wins.
Hey, Einstein! Heard of Aesop?
Big hare angry little tortoise fucked him over!
Cougar's going to be pleased.
He loves a bit of jugged hare.
Sorry about this place.
lt's not romantic...
- But l wanted you. - You did?
l can't say l noticed.
Action replay?
Later. We've really got to go.
l've been looking everywhere for you!
- What were you doing? - Developing photos.
Photos? You have to do that now? The Commissioner's waiting!
The French President...
awards you the medal of Knight of the Order of Merit.
Congratulations...
l owe you an apology.
For not believing me or for slapping my face?
Both...How can l ever apologize?
We'll work something out.
l read about your exploits.
Astounding!
You've given us a lot to think about.
We're determined to improve the traffic system.
More efficient and modern, thanks to you.
The medal is just a symbol, it won't get your licence back.
l expected a bit more...
Leniency? Right!
We are lenient. We could lock you up for years but you're free.
l'm not free, l'm on foot!
l understand. Without a car, you're an orphan?
Right, an orphan on foot.
There is one solution but it may not suit you.
Try me, we'll soon see.
OK? Happy?
- You're not happy? - l'm fine...
l don't get it. Grand Prix, first line, great car...
Your pals. What more do you want?
Another sponsor!
We give him money, a car and he's still not happy...
Tell the pom-pom girls to cut is out. They ruin my concentration.
You know what would make me happy?
What?
Just win the race, forget the shit on the car.
Get the champagne out of the fridge, it's not good too cold.